Uhh... I really should read more...

1. One book that changed your life:
Tired of Trying to Measure Up (Jeff VanVonderen)

2. One book you've read more than once:
The Jolly Postman (Janet and Allan Ahlberg)

3. One book you'd want on a desert island:
The Brothers Karamazov (Dostoevsky) Hard cover, (I'm talking really thick here) hollowed out to make room for my hypercolor silver The Message Remix (Eugene Peterson)

4. One book that made you laugh:
This Book Will Change Your Life

5. One book that made you cry:
Till We Have Faces (C.S. Lewis)

6. One book that you wish had been written:
Once Upon a Late Spring Evening (Tim French)

7. One book you wish had never been written:
The Rules (Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider) Don't get me wrong. Some of them are good. (my personal favorite being #6) But if every girl were to keep these, we'd kill ourselves.

8. One book you're currently reading:
Foundation (Asimov)

9. One book you've been meaning to read:
The Odyssey (Homer)

10. Now tag five people:

Aaron
Timf
Shortcake
Caroline
Amanda

For two bits (plus tax)

I've always wanted one of these.

I think the kids on "Ghostwriter" used them.

You wanna know what's in it, don't ya?

Greatest Moment in Television History

May 3, 2002

Louis Stevens: What's livin' if you never pull your pants down and slide on the ice, Ren!?

(Cut to Louis being interviewed)

I heard my uncle say it to my father once. I immediately fell in love with the phrase. It's great imagery, ya know? Ice. Shorts at your ankles.

Here's a shocker

This explains why I never pass the personality test when applying for a job.

Sitting here

Going Schwartzman on my life
Contemplating drowning my sorrows
in a sack of ten from White Castle
Leaving little to the imagination

Show me!

For the past couple of weeks, I've been avoiding God. The silence which I had come to enjoy so much this summer had quickly become something that needed to filled up. Today, however, we had a bit of a breakthrough. The morning was all mine, or His rather, as the Holy Whispers penetrated through the blank sonic canvas. We got some things out in the open. Well, to be completely honest, He brought everything out into the open for me-- showed me exactly why I had created this rift. It wasn't a pretty picture, (and it sill isn't) but it was a start. There are some pretty big things I've been asking God to do for me. But He hasn't done any of them. And what's more, He doesn't even appear to be working on it. I feel like I've been put on hold for a more important child or something. This has led to me yelling, (oh the yelling) demanding things from God-- or at least a small sign that He can hear me. Nothing comes. In fact, I can almost hear the music playing on the other end of that celestial telephone. Today was different. Though there was yelling and demanding a-plenty, I know He was there. He showed me this passage:

Unless you see signs and wonders, you will not believe.

John 4:48

At first I said to myself, "Exactly, now show me!" But then I got a little more honest with myself and realized that even with a sign, I wouldn't believe. I'd probably just tell God, "It's about time." There's no faith in that response.

That's not to say that I have faith right now, because I don't. At least not much. But the silence has been broken. Though I'm sick of waiting, I have no choice. All that's left for me to do is seek Him. And wait. And believe. He is going to show me. I know it.

What an INTJ wants. What an INTJ needs.

Order. No alarms and no surprises. Life sans question marks.

Today's craving

Oslo

Call me Gideon

Sometimes, when living with reckless faith, you gotta lay a fleece or two. (usually two)

Redirected

Last night, a sprained ankle brought me to a friend's house earlier than I expected, and consequently kept me there much longer than I expected. Now, lately my friend and I have found ourselves discussing the test. Last night was no different. We began talking about how our types manifest themselves in our walk with God. My dear friend wisely pointed out that I like things to be in order. This is no secret. I have a plan, I know how my day is supposed to go. And more often than not it goes that way. But inevitably there are those times when all my planning falls apart. In which case, as this friend so bluntly told me, I fall apart. This got me thinking about my current circumstances. God has told me to do some very bizarre, strange, and even hard things. So I immediately start believing that God is going to give all of those things to me. Which leads to me planning how all of this is going to come about--and it's a pretty good plan, I must admit. But right now I'm 0-3, and that frustrates me. I find myself telling God, "Ok, this is the only way this is all going to work out, so you've got to do it this way!" Doesn't happen.

When I got home late last night/early this morning I was miraculously led to an article by Andree Seu entitled "Simple Faith" which reminded me of a promise that I had read multiple times in the past few weeks:

"For I know what I have planed for you," says the LORD. "I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope."

Jeremiah 29:11

The way God brought about that plan certainly was not the way His people wanted it happen. But it was safe, it was perfect, it was beautiful.

I must simply believe this for myself. God doesn't have to give me His promises the way I expect Him to. In fact, now I'm expecting Him to do it in the most unlikely of ways. I'm expecting the impossible. The "wonder and wildness" is back.

For the record

The rice is NOT my blog. I will, however, admit to having thought of starting one for it.

An Aubade

By Sam Beam:

"So may the sunrise bring hope where it once was forgotten..."

The sun did not rise this morning, but hope was still brought to me.

I heart existentialism

Dinner and a movie included:
Kosher dill pickles, string cheese, tuna with walnuts and hot sauce in taco shells, chocolate milk, and nestle toll house morsels for dessert. Coincidentally (or not) I made some rice but left it in the microwave. We decided it was meant to be. I made the rice for nothing (or everything).

Not many wise...

About six months ago I had this idea: What would happen if I started coming to the Bible as if I had never read it before? So I gave it a shot in search of the answer. I laid aside all my preconceived notions-- everything that I had ever heard or read concerning the interpretation of any given passage. Well, after half a year, here's one of the striking conclusions I've come to.

The Christian life is not about not sinning. It's about faith.

Oh but faith is so much harder than the former. It is the "assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." Faith takes courage. "Renew your mind," Paul says. But renew it on what? We renew it on the promises of God which are yet to be fulfilled.

This is now the standard by which I read my Bible. I pray for stronger faith rather than a more saintly looking life.

My latest sojournings have landed me in the book of Daniel. It's not hard to find faith in this man's life. But the most intriguing thing about this book is the result of that faith. Upon reading the first chapter, I couldn't help but notice that the concepts of "wisdom," "knowledge," or "understanding" are mentioned several times in those 21 verses. Daniel's wisdom, which seemed like foolishness to the Babylonians, was used to confound the wisdom of Babylon's sages and elders (Daniel being a teenager at the time). (side note: I love when the Old Testament so perfectly corresponds with the New Testament) Ok so faith resulted in wisdom for Daniel. But what did he put his faith in? It seemed pretty dark for him and his fellow Israelites-- they had just been taken into exile. Well here's the promise Daniel was holding fast to-- a letter, sent to all those in exile:

"For I know what I have planned for you," says the LORD. "I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope. When you call out to me and come to me in prayer, I will hear your prayers. When you seek me in prayer and worship, you will find me available to you. If you seek me with all your heart and soul, I will make myself available to you."

This is written to those in Babylon, not those who God allowed to stay in Jerusalem. In fact, God makes it very clear that those who were not taken into captivity were going to be destroyed by famine and war. Never did Daniel want to go home, I believe. Because he was convinced of the promises in that letter. That God would preserve him, and even make him prosper. And as a result, Daniel (a teenager) had more wisdom than the oldest, most experienced leaders in Babylon.

Epilogue

Daniel lived through the Babylonian reign and saw the end of Israel's 70 year exile. His faith was made sight. And that was only for a few of the promises. Think of those he sees now. And it's only the beginning.

Just plain creepy (and even a little endearing)

"Yes, the moon and I have a long standing commitment."

---anonymous, June 7th, 2006---

(I misrepresented the source. Please forgive me.)