Show me!

For the past couple of weeks, I've been avoiding God. The silence which I had come to enjoy so much this summer had quickly become something that needed to filled up. Today, however, we had a bit of a breakthrough. The morning was all mine, or His rather, as the Holy Whispers penetrated through the blank sonic canvas. We got some things out in the open. Well, to be completely honest, He brought everything out into the open for me-- showed me exactly why I had created this rift. It wasn't a pretty picture, (and it sill isn't) but it was a start. There are some pretty big things I've been asking God to do for me. But He hasn't done any of them. And what's more, He doesn't even appear to be working on it. I feel like I've been put on hold for a more important child or something. This has led to me yelling, (oh the yelling) demanding things from God-- or at least a small sign that He can hear me. Nothing comes. In fact, I can almost hear the music playing on the other end of that celestial telephone. Today was different. Though there was yelling and demanding a-plenty, I know He was there. He showed me this passage:

Unless you see signs and wonders, you will not believe.

John 4:48

At first I said to myself, "Exactly, now show me!" But then I got a little more honest with myself and realized that even with a sign, I wouldn't believe. I'd probably just tell God, "It's about time." There's no faith in that response.

That's not to say that I have faith right now, because I don't. At least not much. But the silence has been broken. Though I'm sick of waiting, I have no choice. All that's left for me to do is seek Him. And wait. And believe. He is going to show me. I know it.